Wow, one more year gone by, and Destiny has been able to fend off the feminine gender from encroaching into my heart and mind. I am blaming Destiny, because all my life, I have been trying to beat Destiny in this little duel; it has always been victorious. So this Valentine’s Day for me would be again; as normal, usual and ordinary as any other day of the year. I made my last move against Destiny today which again was so deftly counter-attacked; I was awe-struck at the Destiny’s might. How can a meagre human match the permanence and mercilessness of one’s Destiny. All these days, I thought someday I will be able to change my Destiny, but it now seems an impossible task. I didn’t believe in Destiny till today, but from now on, I have changed my perception. Let’s talk about my last move. Third Last Move –
Many people know about my first crush from school. Last year, after so much orkutting, I was able to find her yahoo id. I sent her a friend request which she accepted. We started chatting;talking about school, lost friends, old days, school teachers, couples who still speak to each other, couples who broke up, friends who got married, friends who were divorced already, jobs, life etc. And then finally when the topic gradually shifted from her and me, she seemed to be less responsive while I was abnormally typing in more characters than usual. Then suddenly she stopped responding. Destiny won here. But I was still determined. Second Last Move –
I frequently left offline messages on yahoo for her, but she never replied. Orkut helped me again. Rather, Destiny was devising another move to beat me again. I found her gtalk id. I sent her a friend request which again was accepted. But every time she came online, her status was set to “Busy”. I thought it would be very impolite on my part to disturb her. Perhaps, this was a trap that would have given Destiny one more point. I avoided falling into it. I was trying to make a counter move. I got her number. On diwali, I sent her a message; signing off with my name (I was sure that she won’t have my number). But she didn’t reply. On gtalk, I stopped seeing her online. I thought she was too busy. Destiny won again. Still determined, I waited for 13th February to make my last move.
Last Move – Today, I searched for her name on gtalk, and to my surprise, didn’t find her. Destiny was playing dirty. She had removed me from her friend’s list. I was a little disappointed, but wasn’t heartbroken; to give up before executing my last move. I sent her a friend request again, when I found out from a third party resource that she was online. This time also, Destiny made her accept my request.
I could now she her online, but again her status was “Busy”. This time around, since I thought this would be the deciding move for both of us, I walked into Destiny’s trap happily and perhaps aware of the result. I pinged her “Hi”. I waited eagerly for almost 5 minutes, waiting for her reply, staring at the chat window, without even blinking; I could hear my heart pumping that extra cc of blood for each passing second and finally, Destiny struck its final blow and she went offline. The battle was won and lost. And now, I am convinced that I can’t ever beat Destiny. My Valentine’s Lost forever.
5 thoughts on “My Valentine’s Lost Forever”
Wine comes in at the mouth,
and love comes in at the eye;
That's all we shall know for truth,
before we grow old and die.
I lift the glass to my mouth,
I look at you ,
and I sigh.
Buddy….just adding a few more lines..in the earlier comment…
After reading this….
I dont know whether…to laugh or to cry….
Its been same here for a while….
But..I would say…..
Atleast you tried…..
And…its my composition…..even..if it is bad….
Never give up …dude till destiny does enuf harm that u cant try even 😛
Cheer up buddy..that was a really neat piece of write – up..though i was really taken aback when i got the name of the object of this blog from you..
Newaz..as some smart a** has said…doesnt help much..but still holds true… "'Tis bet'r t' 'av' luv'd n lost than not luv'd at all".
Dream on Psycho..
I m impressed with the honesty with which you have written the article….great!!
The experience is real good to share!!
…. ..yeh ladkiyon k mentality aisi kyon hoti hai …???//..I m still confused!!
..bt agar main teri jegeh hota …then I would have sure wrote an -email or letter to her as well….may be I would hav honestly told her…that I really can't live without you..if it has been so….I would have told her that I want to leave you if I would hav realized that she is nt interested in me..seriously i would have done the same…nd I would hav tried to convince her that I don't want to lose her..atleast as a frnd…for some more..time…nd at that point I won't be trying to convince her for anything..I would just like to clear all my queries that I have in my mind about her….really….If I go…more seriously….I still don't consider..you/ or anyone with the situation I have explained as a loser…not really…………if you are really in love ..may be try other way…look at the things from her perspective nd then try to understand each nd everything..may be u will be more happy about her…may b u will ….u wll gain more respect that…way…..u r nt a loser!!……….may b u will feel I went quite "filmy"..or the other…bt I am damn serious abt my answer 🙂 chill!! ..I will again say…. ..U R NOT A LOSER!!