Have you ever felt that you just missed your chance, or you were late by a milli-second or you came second by a 2.5 inches ? I am sure this would have happened with you time and again. But we never seem to learn from the past, no matter how substantial our loss or gain was. This has happened to me as well. Before today, the things at stake were not much of value to me. For example, say i lost a cigarette on a bet of balancing a chair on just one of its legs, 2 litres of cold drink on finishing a 2 litre Mirinda under 3 minutes, GE treat on a game of TT with one of the best players in our hostel, and the list goes on. I am surprised that so many things come into my mind when i think of my losses. And when i count the number of bets that I have won, I don’t remember many of them, or even a single one. Its not that I haven’t gained anything from those silly bets in our college. But i liked losing to people and see their expressions of triumph. But this wasn’t all. I am not finished yet. Here goes the second part.
When you lose, you are shattered. You feel like someone is trying to pierce a sword into your lungs, you can’t breathe. Your eyes are full, but you can’t let your tears out. You can’t speak. But somehow you manage to put a smile on your face, congratulate the Hero and walk off, lock yourself in your room and conspire against him. At that moment, he is the greatest villain in your life. Each part of your body hates this man. You just can’t wait for a chance to avenge him. And if all this happens because of a milli-second, micro-metre, 2.5 inches or milli-gram, its worse. You feel, the whole world is against you. You think, nobody is your friend anymore, no one likes you and no one needs you. You think of committing suicide.
And then, when you get a chance to offend him, you never seem to miss it. You enjoy, clap, dance and sing at his misfortune. But right inside your heart, you are still not satisfied. “This is not fair. This is injustice. He deserves more pain, humiliation and torture”. There is no mercy in your heart, no feelings and no sympathy. You are not human now. There is only Satan sitting inside you.
But is this all, does it end hear? Does the other person forget about all this if you hadn’t killed him? Now he takes your place and you are at the receiving end. This will go on until one of you dies just like the game of roulette. But one day, you will find a replacement. There are lots of humans with whom you can play this game.
Who is the winner or loser? YOU or ME??